Let them eat cake

Blimey, we haven’t had a blog entry in ay-hay-haaayges.Well I, Christopher, OIW’s resident compère/boulanger, intend to remedy this.

First off, cheers to everybody who came down last night – it was wonderful. Any night that features a keyboard-playing toy cat is going to be good.
And for those of you who weren’t there (tsk tsk), there was a keyboard-playing toy cat. It was Tin Ten Yen’s and it was fantastic.

For the last three months, I’ve made chocolate cake for the assembled OIW masses. It’s really good chocolate cake. It’s not what you’d call healthy but fuck it, enjoy life now and then you’ve got eternity to exercise when you’re dead.
Anyways, I figured I’d share the wealth, so here is the recipe for what shall henceforth be known as The Goliath.

Ingredients for the cake:

  • 75g butter
  • 75g caster sugar
  • Two eggs, lightly beaten
  • 75g self-raising flour
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • 25g cocoa powder

Ingredients for icing:

  • 350g dark chocolate
  • 100g better
  • 300ml double cream
  • Two-three tbsp rum

Lightly grease a 20cm springform pan and preheat your oven.
Beat together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Gradually add the eggs, beating well after each addition.
Sieve the flour, cocoa powder and baking powder together and fold into the mixture. Then pour it into the pan and bake on gas mark 4 (180ºC) for 25 minutes, or until springy to the touch. Leave it to cool in the pan slightly and then remove it from the pan, to cool on a wire rack. Once it’s cooled, return to the pan.

Heat the chocolate, butter and cream in a pan on a low heat and stir until smooth. Take it off the heat, let it cool down and then put it in the fridge for about 30 minutes. Beat well with a wooden spoon (lots of stirring – if your arms don’t hurt, you’re not doing it right) and then return to the fridge for a further 30 minutes. Stir again, this time also adding the rum.

Spoon the icing over the cake (in the pan, natch) and leave to cool in the fridge for three hours.

Pass out in a chocolatey haze and wake up four days later, 200 miles from home with your underwear on backwards and no recollection of how you got there or how you can get back.

Some of the most important tips about baking cakes can be found on this website:

Finally, just for funsies, here is one of my favourite bakery-related jokes:

Samuel Beckett’s standing outside a closed boulangerie in Paris. His friend walks past and says:
“Oh bonjour, Samuel! Do you want to go for a coffee?”
“Non merci,” replies Beckett.
A few hours later, his friend walks past again and, sure enough, there’s Beckett standing outside the same boulangerie, which is still closed.
“Sammy baby, you’ve been here for hours; what are you doing?”
“I’m waiting for gateuax.”

Ithangyow. Next month: My top five mother-in-law jokes.


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